Livin in Chi town

haha whoopsie!! forgot about the blog, for like a month. But anywho it's almost two in the morning. I don't know if I can't sleep because I'm hoping things get better soon and I make a decision on what to do with my life soon. since this year went no where near how I had planned it.
I really wish the economy gets better soon, I don't know how much longer of this I can take. I'm tired of reading the news how another few thousand people have been laid off.  It gives me no hope. Everyone is in the same postition to get a good paying job to support their families and put food on the table. Some people might think I'm just lazy because I don't have a job at the moment, but that is not the truth at all!! Do people think I like being stuck in the house all day because I have no money to go do anything? I can't even go buy water if we run out! (in spain you can't drink the water from the faucet) And here where I'm at everything is based on the tourists! We have no tourists =  we have no jobs. which means I have no job. And I don't know what to do about school because I don't know where. And the whole money issue, and all the kids are thinking the same thing now, no jobs so go to school so that lowers ur chances of getting into school perhaps. But then again, maybe if i start school now, by the time i get out hopefully the economy will be better...But I may be having high hopes on that dream. Since in the past 5 years it's been deteriorating  slowly and no one even bothered to fix it. And now look where we are at! The are calling it a recession, I would say we are past that! It's a depression. Why did we have to go to that stupid war in iraq? Why did banks keep loaning out money to people who can't afford to pay it back? Look where that got us? One store after the other is closing. The thing I love the most about this is how prices keep going up when people making less money. Who thought of that? lol. Smart. I just hope when they start to fix it, I don't know how, might read up on what some people have thought of for ideas to bring us back. I just hope they do it soon..
I wanna be able to go back home in july to chicago, although being without a job, yet again I don't know how that is going to work out. I wish I could have seen my future about 9 months ago and never left target. I mean yeah I liked it there and the people were fun and I enjoyed myself at least, and the hours would have been perfect if I were to have started school. I should have just done that. I know it's too late to go back and I shouldn't bother myself regretting it, because I can't change it. I guess there was some meaning I came here. Just not quite sure what it is yet. Maybe I came here to see that I really should get a move on with my life. It seems like this place is one of those places everyone comes to, to get away from their problems. mine was the opposite. The problems started when I got here. Maybe it's meant to put perspective into my life. And see how things are somewhere else and what their life is based on. To find out what makes the world go round in different parts of the world. Apparently it really is money. You know how they saw that money isn't everything? That money doesn't make the world go round? It really does. Because when you make money, and go spend it, you are paying someone else's paycheck. You are giving another person a chance to put food on the table and continue the circle onto the next person. I'm not saying that money IS everything and that money DOES make the world go round, I'm just saying that money does play a big part in our lives.
Although being here is interesting. Meeting different people from all over the world and hearing their point of view on everything. It does make you wonder and then you get your own perspective by talking to so many people and giving them your point of views. And how your opinions can change or become stronger about certain things. You stand up for what you want and what you believe in. Maybe it makes you stronger when you get into a discussion and you are able to stand your ground and not fall victim to the other person's belief.
haha wow I'm doing some really serious writing here, and realizing things, well I fell a bit lighter and more at ease, I guess the expressing yourself really does help. I think I should go to bed so I can wake-up to another dreadful day of soul searching. Although mom keeps yelling at me cause I'm always so "negative" well it's kinda hard to be positive when everything is shit. Maybe that's another one of life lessons I'm learning here. To always stay positive, cause when u think positive you allow things to happen. If you're always negative you turn down everything and maybe even a miracle in disguise.