Livin in Chi town

I feel like S***.  Damn wine. Just sitting on the couch, wathcing E! channel and right now Khloe and Kourtney take Miami is on. O M G!!! I frikkin hate Kourtney's boyfriend Scott!! frikkin pyscho and idiot!! I can't believe she had a kid with him!! And his voice is annoying and how he treats her!! I should probably go eat something but that would involve getting off this couch.... Joe is at work right now and he texted me saying he'd be home at 4, which is in like an hour. then he can make me something! haha lol I love this show! Not sure what were gonna do tonight. I would love to go to a movie but since no money NO FUNNY!! :( so just gonna be a bum like i've been for the past 3 weeks...yay!...not..mmmm salami and toast....ok gonna go eat!....mmm yummy!!

So yesterday wasn't one of my better days. I'm not gonna even write about it here, because I think I wrote it at least 15 times to all my friends yesterday. At least I have great family and friends who care :) But I don't even know, so tired of the same thing over and the apologies. Well then STOP DOING SHIT TO BE SORRY FOR!! And I love it when guys say you deserve better. "oh good at least you know u can be an ass sometimes!" And I'm like yeah I do deserve better! But for some FRIKKIN REASON! I have to be in love with this dumbass....oh yay!
Ok and like what the hell! I know I've only been proper jobhunting this week...but I'm not having a good feeling...It's like all managers positions and im not a manager yet. I know I could be but I just always need more training. . The only thing I wanted to do yesterday was get in my jeep and run to kims house and watch UP and eat our garlic bread pizza and then make brownies. And I can't even do that cause I moved here. I told him yesterday too the only people I want right now are kim and ramsey.


watching old "home movies" right now which is making me feel better

Why am I such an idiot...why do I always just leave everything behind for nothing. I left my family, friends, job, car, and school all behind! What am I doing with my life now?? Absolutley nothing! I'm constantly stuck in a house doing nothing. Can't go anywhere cause I have no car, or no money for taxi or bus. I had a great car back home and a job that worked out perfectly with my life schedule. I was going to school and doing something...Now I'm here in england doing absolutly nothing. No family, No friends (except Julia who I still never get to see because I have no damn money) , no job. I miss my life. I've been here 3 months now and done absolutly nothing. I can't even go back home because I told my dad I would never live with him and his wife again. Maybe I can live with my cousin. I need a job asap and money for this cruise we are going on in January. And then I need a car if I move back home. I'll start looking.